Guest Episode
October 28, 2024

Bill Eddy: How to Deal With High Conflict People

Listen or watch on your favorite platforms

In this episode, my guest is Bill Eddy, a lawyer, licensed therapist, professional mediator, and faculty member at the Pepperdine University School of Law. He specializes in identifying, reducing friction with, and disentangling from high-conflict individuals. We explain how high-conflict personalities differ from personality disorders and examine the cycles of blame and drama that cause persistent conflict in their relationships.

We discuss how to quickly recognize high-conflict individuals based on specific criteria and behaviors, helping listeners learn to spot their less obvious tactics. You’ll also learn how to disengage from them with minimal friction and understand the methods they use to draw people back in or keep conflict alive.

Additionally, we cover effective communication strategies for mediating situations involving high-conflict individuals, emphasizing empathy and problem-solving approaches. This episode equips listeners with tools to navigate conflict in various contexts, promoting resolutions that benefit all parties involved.

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Huberman Lab Episodes Mentioned

People Mentioned

  • Marsha Linehan: developer of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Washington
  • Matthias Barker: psychotherapist, co-founder of the Trauma Institute

About this Guest

Bill Eddy

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., is a lawyer, professional mediator, licensed therapist, and faculty member at Pepperdine University School of Law who specializes in conflict resolution with high-conflict individuals.

  • 00:00:00 Bill Eddy
  • 00:02:58 Sponsors: Maui Nui & ExpressVPN
  • 00:06:41 High-Conflict Families, High-Conflict Individuals & Patterns
  • 00:10:48 Personality Disorders, Prevalence & Overlap
  • 00:18:28 High-Conflict Personality vs. Personality Disorders, Blame
  • 00:24:33 High-Conflict Individuals, Tool: First-Year Rule & Commitment
  • 00:30:53 Sponsor: AG1
  • 00:32:05 Relationship Stability, Tool: Vetting Potential Partners
  • 00:38:54 Heightened Emotions, Negative Advocates, Divorce
  • 00:47:50 Brain, Plasticity & Fear; Bullies, Polarization
  • 00:54:51 Sponsors: Function & David
  • 00:58:00 Emotions, Media, Politics
  • 01:04:57 Tool: WEB Method, Identify High-Conflict Individuals
  • 01:12:20 Body Cues, Identify High-Conflict Individuals
  • 01:18:40 Tool: Don’t Label & Empathy; Adapting Your Behavior
  • 01:23:12 High Conflict Personalities & Occupations
  • 01:28:18 Big Personalities: Evidence vs Assumptions
  • 01:37:27 Tool: Leaving a Combative High-Conflict Individual, Blame, Gradual Exit
  • 01:45:4 Exiting a High Conflict Relationship & Timing
  • 01:49:27 Tool: Disentangling from a Victim High-Conflict Individual, “Hoovering”
  • 01:52:32 High Conflict Divorce, Small Families & Parental Estrangement
  • 01:57:01 Tool: Managing Emotions & Relationships, EAR Statements
  • 01:59:52 Large Families & Conflict Resolution
  • 02:04:11 Bullies & Online Social Groups
  • 02:09:18 Personality Disorders, Causes, Culture
  • 02:13:09 Tool: 4 “Fuhgeddaboudits”, Topics to Avoid in High Conflict Resolution
  • 02:19:50 Tool: CARS Method, Connecting & EAR Statements, Analyzing
  • 02:27:03 Tool: CARS Method, Responding & BIFF Response, Setting Limits & SLIC
  • 02:36:40 Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow & Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter

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